Kidney failure diagnosis

"Christy wasn't your traditional kidney patient. In May 2006, just three weeks after her 21st birthday, she had a burst appendix and sepsis and suffered multiple organ failure. She was in a coma for six weeks, intensive care for 13 weeks and hospital for six months.

"When she was in intensive care, we were optimistic that her kidneys would start working again, but they were destroyed. With other diagnoses of kidney disease, it can be a gradual decline but with Christy it was straight into total kidney failure.

"She and I had just finished our final exams at university, and we were excited to start our masters in September. She had the next part of her life planned out but suddenly everything had to be put on hold."

Living donation and kidney transplant failure

"I vividly remember making the decision to donate my kidney in 2007 and starting the process in 2008. I didn't think I'd be a match and I remember getting the phone call after the bloods and tests, and I was just so elated! I rang Christy straight away and we scheduled the transplant to happen after we completed our MSc in October 2009.

"But as happens to so many people, you build dreams and plans and invariably life decides that it won't happen. We were trying to plan the next stage of our life with Christy's new kidney and that was ripped away when the transplant failed immediately after the operation. Being told I could donate was like winning the lottery, and when the kidney failed it felt like all those lottery winnings were just fake money.

"The transplant failure really hit me several years later, and then again in the last few years of Christy's life as her health deteriorated. Taking care of my one kidney always makes me think about the failed transplant. It was so tragic and Christy had to wait another five years for her second transplant, due to the potential antibodies from my kidney being in her body for even just 30 minutes."

Second transplant and second failure

"Christy was added back onto the transplant list in early 2014 and got the second transplant call in September 2015. It was an older kidney and there were more severe complications, including a reaction to the immunosuppressants and further trauma. More surgeries were also required but it was a success, especially after the emotional turmoil of not knowing if the new kidney or Christy would live.

"However, the new kidney only ever worked at around 35%, which felt like only a marginal improvement. We were always jealous of other people getting a transplant and their new kidney functioning at higher percentages. It was completely different for us.

"We tried to enjoy life after the second transplant. We were able to do a long trip to Japan, Singapore, Fiji, Australia and New Zealand and we lived a 'normal-ish' life, but Christy was always fighting fatigue and a declining kidney function. During Covid-19 we shielded for 18 months, protecting the transplant, but the kidney was declining each year, down to an eGFR of 12, then 10, then 8, then 5. Christy started haemodialysis (HD) treatment in August 2023."

Third transplant and Christy's death

"Christy stayed fit enough during dialysis to go back on the transplant list again and got called for another transplant in November 2025. It had only been 18 months and so we started looking to the future once more. Christy had the transplant and the kidney was working well in the first few weeks, but she wasn’t healing properly and her body started to shut down. She never left the hospital and on 16 December 2025 she passed away.

"What people don't realise about kidney failure and kidney transplantation is that your body takes a battering. Christy had so many surgeries and operations and I don't think humans are designed to go through so much. It was a testament to how much the body can tolerate. It is just so sad she wasn’t able to enjoy the third transplant.

"People aren't aware of how much a kidney transplant can take out of you – it is lifesaving, but it is a treatment, not a cure. CKD is a hidden illness, and it doesn't match the image of disability that most people have, but it is disabling. It fatigues you, and dialysis drains you. The best quote I've ever heard is, 'We're all only ever temporarily not disabled.' If you're lucky, you'll get into your 70s with dodgy eyes or joints. That didn't happen for Christy.

"Two of the doctors from the ICU where Christy was treated in 2006 were still working there when she died and one of them signed her death certificate. They saved her life 20 years ago but just couldn't save her again. It was almost like it was full circle of life. What are the odds of that doctor being there on that day? I'll always remember the tears in his eyes. After being in ICU many times over decades, certain patients stick in the minds of doctors. That was one thing Christy always did, she always left a memory. She was a feisty character and tried to live life the best she could. Everything she did was to try to help other people with CKD."

The power of counselling and Christy's legacy fund at Kidney Care UK

"In the late 2010s, Christy and talked about setting up a charity. We knew she would die at some point and we wanted to leave a legacy, but we never got much further than talking about it because Christy's energy was all taken up with just surviving.

"Then, when she died, I wanted to make something happen in her memory and that's when I spoke with Kidney Care UK. At first, I was thinking of donating money to help fund holidays. We all know that as a kidney patient or family member, holidays are vital and the cost is so much extra as a dialysis patient. Then, Rachel, Head of Fundraising, spoke to me about the Kidney Care UK counselling service and I knew that was the perfect way to support kidney patients in Christy's name.

"Christy never really got over her burst appendix and the failed transplant and kidney failure. In the years before she died, she went through counselling, but I think she bottled everything up until it all came out with the failure of her third transplant, only a few weeks before she died. If Christy had had her time again, I think she would have counselling sooner. You only have a short time and if you spend it with grief and trauma, it takes its toll on the mind and body. Christy was a product of bottling up all of those feelings.

"So, in April 2026 I decided to set up a £50,000 fund in Christy’s name at Kidney Care UK, to help kidney patients access counselling and holiday grants. Any money I make and I'm able to donate from my own extra fundraising efforts will go into the fund too. Then, when I die, part of my estate will be donated to keep the fund going in honour of Christy. It is our legacy to kidney disease and Christy would be happy knowing that she is helping people to have a holiday, to have counselling, knowing that has happened in her memory."

"From a mental health point of view, there isn't enough support out there for kidney transplant failure, so having a proper counsellor who knows about kidney disease is so important. I have had counselling sessions, and I've needed every single one. I am at the happiest I have ever been now, even with Christy's death. This might seem strange, but working on and understanding your brain and your mental health is vital in life. I have had a lot of time in the past year to process it.

"In May and June, I was in deep grief, and the turning point was using an emotional wheel with my counsellor. I was sad, empty, and depressed and suddenly I realised that of course I was feeling that way – how could I not? I rationalised that I'll always live with an emptiness inside me from Christy's loss, so now all I want to try to do is bring joy and happiness to people around me.

"It has been the worst time of my life, but I have come out of the other side with a renewed optimism. At some point in your life, you'll have to face your trauma and grief, otherwise you're going to live in misery, and do you want to live in misery? There is hope, and in hope there can be joy and happiness. I had my first chapter before Christy, the second with her and now the third chapter after her. It is time to invest in myself and enjoy my life – if nothing else, I'm going to try and get my golf handicap as low as possible!

"That's why funding counselling could change someone's life. Depression and anxiety and stress is rife in people with chronic conditions; you are constantly fighting. You need to find things in life to give you joy and you can find happiness in the strangest places. Even if you're just getting out of bed to watch TV, those are the small wins that need to be built upon. We all look to those big milestones – university, car, job, marriage, winning the game of life – but very rarely does anyone ever meet them all and that is okay.

"Having a chronic illness isn't the end – it is a change, but you can still make a difference and have a positive impact, even just raising a few quid for a charity. The more people like me that can talk about it, the more people who can kick their chronic illness in the butt, the better.

"I would say, if you have an inkling to donate, charities like Kidney Care UK have access to free Will making.* It is very easy to do; you just set it up and leave a legacy. If you're thinking about it, take the next step and just do it. The more kindness we can give, the better position we can all be in.

"I am glad that fate led us to donating to Kidney Care UK and setting up the fund. Each year I'll know that the money has been used to help someone go on holiday or have counselling. It warms my heart to know people living with kidney disease will benefit."

*If you are considering making a donation, leaving your gift in a Will is a great way to do so. Kidney Care UK have partnered with Farewill to make it as simple as possible.