If you ask me what I want from this life, I would say to see my children grow into adulthood, for them to be happy and have good lives. That is what a life well lived looks like to me.
Diagnosis and meeting Richard
"I have always loved to dance and ran a successful dance studio in London, back in the early 2000s. Richard came along to one of my classes wanting to improve his dance technique and before long, we were winning competitions as a professional dance couple.
"We were both young, enjoying everything London had to offer and loved to dance. Richard was working as a virologist at King's College Hospital and life was good. Inevitably, our relationship developed into much more than dance partners!
"As a child, I had been plagued by recurring urinary tract infections (UTIs), but the cause of these was never investigated, and consequently, never treated. When I was 20, I suffered some extremely painful UTIs and through a Harley Street consultant friend (who offered me 'mate's rates'!), I was prescribed rotating courses of antibiotics.
"It was during these consultations I first discovered I had reflux nephropathy – when urine flows backwards into the kidneys – but as it had remained undiagnosed for so long, my kidneys were permanently damaged. My kidney function was relatively low, but stable."
Richard and I married in 2008, and both wanted to start a family. Our son, Lewis, was born through IVF in 2018, closely followed by our daughter, Edith, in 2020, also born via IVF.
IVF treatment
"Richard and I married in 2008, and both wanted to start a family. We didn't seem to have much luck conceiving 'naturally' so looked to invitro fertilisation (IVF). Our son, Lewis, was born through IVF in 2018, closely followed by our daughter, Edith, in 2020, also born via IVF.
"Both babies were born at King's, where I received amazing care and support from the neonatal team there. The team specialises in caring for women with high blood pressure, so they were familiar with the additional care my kidney disease required. My kidneys were functioning at around 25% at this stage, but I felt fairly well.
"I had scans and bloods every two weeks to make sure both the babies and I were okay. Both Lewis and Edith were born prematurely and were delivered by Caesarean section five weeks early as my medical team didn't want to put any extra strain on my body.
"IVF comes with no guarantees – once again, we were just lucky! Hormones are usually prescribed to stimulate egg production in couples accepted onto the IVF programme.
"It makes sense – the more eggs available for fertilisation, the higher the chances of a successful pregnancy. We were no exception, and I was pumped full of hormones in the early stages of each IVF attempt."
A baby during Covid-19
"Edith was born during the Covid-19 lockdown, which meant despite the complexities of her birth and my health, we could not be visited at home by a midwife. I had to attend our hospital appointments alone, without Richard, who was a frontline clinician working punishing hours trying to save people struck down by Covid-19.
"My dancing also stopped and, as the whole country emerged from Covid-19, we knew we had to change our lives somehow.
"Richard researched job opportunities in Cornwall and successfully applied to the Royal Cornwall Hospital in Treliske, to head up the Clinical Biomedical Sciences department there. Then, just as we were preparing for the move to Cornwall, I received the devastating news that I had stage 4 breast cancer and secondary bone cancer (bone being the most common site of secondary breast cancer)."
I feel so much healthier on two days of dialysis a week and the unit and staff at are great, so friendly and welcoming. I dialyse while the children are at school and will not miss me.
Moving to Cornwall and starting dialysis
"The realisation that whatever time I had left with the children and Richard must be the best life possible made Cornwall's slower and healthier pace of life even more appealing. So, in 2021, along with my 92-year-old dad, we moved our life, children and all our belongings into a small, rented house in Cornwall. Six months later, we found a wonderful house to buy which came with separate accommodation; it was perfect for my dad, so he could have his own space from time to time.
"My kidney function declined when I started my cancer treatment. I had a renal appointment one week and they said my kidney function had dropped to 10. I had more blood tests the next week and it had gone down to 8. I got a call from the nurse on a Wednesday evening telling me I was going in the next day to have a chest line put in. The day after that, I started haemodialysis (HD) and I've been dialysing since at the Royal Cornwall Hospitals NHS Trust in Treliske.
"It was a struggle at first. I cried a lot, for what seemed like weeks. It was hard to come to terms with, especially with the added discomfort of a chest line. I was dialysing three times a week, but it was exhausting and I constantly felt sick, to the point I was vomiting regularly and losing weight.
"I had a breakdown with one of the nurses, saying I couldn't carry on. She suggested maybe I was being over dialysed. They did some tests and decided it was safe for me to have dialysis two times a week. That has been much easier to handle, physically, mentally and logistically. I feel so much healthier on two days of dialysis a week and the unit and staff at are great, so friendly and welcoming. I dialyse while the children are at school and will not miss me; my husband takes them to school on dialysis days as I'm in the unit by 7am.
"I have kidney tests every three months to make sure everything is stable. In terms of treatment for my cancer, I take palbociclib. It is a targeted cancer therapy used primarily to treat hormone receptor-positive (HR+) and HER2-negative metastatic breast cancer. I also have hormone suppressants and denosaumab injections for my bones and I remain fairly asymptomatic.
"I have a high pain threshold, which I suppose is down to my training as a dancer! I do feel tired but can't be sure if this is down to my kidney disease, dialysis, cancer or just being a busy mum of two active, funny and boisterous children!"
It's difficult to go away for any extended period of time and trying to get dialysis at another hospital feels impossible at times. We tend to go away for longer periods in Cornwall, so can still travel back to the hospital to dialyse and my children get the feeling of a proper holiday.
Living with cancer and kidney disease
"Lunchboxes still have to be made, uniforms ready and rucksacks packed every morning – even on my dialysis days, when I try to get this done and sneak off to the hospital before the children even wake up.
"I do ask myself why. Why the kidney disease, why the cancer, why us? Was it the hormones I had during our IVF treatment that left me predisposed to a cancer diagnosis? I am not sure we will ever know for sure. As for the future, having cancer means I will not be offered a transplant.
"And whilst my cancer will not be cured, life today is entirely manageable with the help and support of people around me. In 2023, I completed a 100km trek for breast cancer charity CoppaFeel, raising over £3,000 – an amazing experience. Each team of 25 is headed up by a celebrity captain, and our captain was Frankie Bridge (a member of S Club Juniors, The Saturdays and a regular on the Loose Women TV show) who also lives with cancer.
"It's difficult to go away for any extended period of time and trying to get dialysis at another hospital feels impossible at times. Although it might be easier to arrange, it's much too expensive for me to have dialysis abroad. We tend to go away for longer periods in Cornwall, so can still travel back to the hospital to dialyse and my children get the feeling of a proper holiday.
"If you ask me what I want from this life, I would say to see my children grow into adulthood, for them to be happy and have good lives. That is what a life well lived looks like to me."
